A Stinging Realization

This little true story was written by a parent at Clear Horizons Academy and to me illustrates many wonderful points in working with our kiddos. Thank you for sharing with us!

It was late in the afternoon on Mother's Day and I had happily accepted my husband and son's offer to take some time to relax and read. I was deep into my book when I heard a mumbled conversation grow louder and clearer.

"What should we do?" " I know, I have an idea." I could hear some noises in the kitchen and then I heard my husband describe to my son how he intended to capture the yellow jacket, that had somehow gotten into our living room, with a cooking pot and cover it with a book so that he could proceed to let it go outside. A few silent seconds went by and then I heard screaming.

"No." "Why did you kill him?" "I love all animals even the ones with stingers and I will never ever ever forgive you."  My husband had accidentally put the book down over the yellow jacket and its broken body lay squirming in the pot. "I will never forgive you - I love all animals..."

Because my son processes the goings-on around him verbally, he continued to scream out these words over and over.

At this point I had already been present for a few minutes and my son started to regulate enough to go on. In a sweet sobbing voice he said: "But you didn't even listen to my idea." In unison, my husband and I asked him what his idea was and what he shared was one of the most beautiful ideas I've ever heard.

"My idea was to pick a flower so that the bee would land on it because bees like nectar."

So often - in situations that aren't nearly as intense - we as adults problem-solve in such an efficient manner that we don't even take time to listen to our children's ideas.

Later, my son started to talk about an ant that he too had killed just the day before. "My finger was too heavy and it died." He said that later he had said a little prayer for the ant. As he processed his own guilt for having squished the tiny ant, he was able to apply these feelings to the guilt my husband felt. And then it hit me, my son was beginning to demonstrate "Theory of Mind," or the ability to begin to apply his own feelings to another person, to empathize.

And so, I too, will say a little prayer for the yellow jacket that lost its life on Mother's Day - and, in honor of that life, I will try to keep in mind that sometimes the simple beauty of a flower can not only preserve, but change a life.